Hatred

CIE 'O' Level is driving me crazy..
I'm going nuts each day..

Although every person I met was telling me to chill, unfortunately, I couldn't do so..
I really wanted to prepare for CIE way before time.. (the only way to calm myself)

Having the thought it was getting closer each day, it's making me more nervous..
They always say that I'm overstudying or some may described as 'crazy study'..
The way they called it, it's like I was really doing something wrong..

What I want for myself is just getting high marks for my grades so I can make my parents proud!
Not going school to waste money or time..

Am I wrong to achieve my goals as student?
Why can't they see it from my point of view?
Why must they judge whatever they feel like?
Do they ever realize how does it feels to be in my position?

Looking at their faces..
See how they reacted toward my studies, it really makes me sick..
It feels like they are mocking me..
Sometimes I want to smack their brain out of their head..

Every word they utter.. Every expression they show.. Every gaze at their eyes..
It flares my rage..
It really had me annoyed.. Irritated me to death to be specific..

I don't understand them..
I just wish they can understand me..

I mean.. I'm just a person that has determination in life..
Wanting to be a person with bright future..

Am I wrong?