Lady Gaga

Who is this Lady Gaga?

Man! If you don't know her, get real!

She's popular and her album is off the chart!

You've gotta be kidding me for not noticing her 'Poker Face' song being played all over the place.

I heard her song was played a million of times in different countries.

In Singapore, Malaysia, Melbourne and just everywhere.

Earlier today The Pussycat Dolls announced that they would include Australia in their 2009 world tour.

The Pussycat Dolls would be supported by no-other than raunchy electro-pop New Yorker Lady GaGa!
This concert was predicted bound to go off so people was being told to secure their tickets from December 12th.

FRIDAY MAY 22MELBOURNE ROD LAVER ARENA

My Big Sister went to the concert and she said Lady Gaga was amazing.

Her outfit, dance and everything was really good.

Look at this picture, it's her outfit at the Pussycat Dolls' concert as the guest star.

Sexy huH?

If you check it out at youtube and search for her concert at Melbourne, you'll probably think that she didn't wear anything except those bubbles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odomb10Gmbc

It's cool allright?

She has her own unique way to express her true colour to people.

Do you know that her image and fashion sense has been channeled by other celebrities like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.

According to lingerie expert Annette Warburton, teenage girls as young as age sixteen were buying the black undergarments and wearing them as hot pants to emulate Gaga's style

Do you believe how super popular she is now?

She was nothing back then and suddenly boom! She's everywhere.

16th B'day! Part 1

One day, way before my 16th birthday my mom asked me a very unexpected question.
"When was the last time you celebrate your birthday?"
For once in my life, I couldn't asnwer her.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by another question of hers.
"Do you want to make your 16th birthday special? Since you won't have your 17th."

The words sprung me.
She was right!
This was my last chance to celebrate with my friends.
The choice was now or never..

Finally, I had made my mind and it would be a simple yet elegant celebration.
I didn't ask for dress code or other fancy stuffs.
The most important part was my friends.
As long the all could come, it was all that mattered.

My birthday was a holiday weeks so teachers were all out of town.
It was a very unfortunate situation but at least I got my friends.

The party was simple and we had buffet.
It had gone well and even funnier when we did some pranks.
The victims was: Alfon, Billiem and Howie

We put salts at Alfon's and Howie's drinks and some 'mixed everything' for Billiem.
Alfon did realize his drink had some salt in it but Howie didn't know.
When we all laughed at Alfon, Howie was laughing at Alfon too.
He kept saying Alfon was a real fool didn't know he was pranked.
When we said he was also one of the victim, he blushed and felt silent in embarrastment.
For covering his humiliation, he put salt in every beverage he was going to drink.
It was hillarious!

For Billiem, we put 'everything' we saw at the table in a bowl for him to eat.
By everything was from chilli, water, orange juice, es campur and many more.
To my surprise, he actually ate it. ^^

Wanna see the photos? Go to part 2..

16th B'day! Part 2

16TH BIRTHDAY PHOTOS:

[---Steffie, Me, Jessica---]

Above: [---Oline, Quentins, Me, Jessica, Patricia---]
Below: [---Stanley, Steffie---]

[---Steffie, Me, AH---]

Above: [---Oline, Sendy, Anya, Quentins, Me, Stanley, Diana---]
Middle: [---Amadeus, Victor, Alim, Patrick, AH, Jessica, Steffie, Alfon, Gautam---]
Below: [---Howie, H, Debbie, Cynthia, Kevin---]

Rafting

As everyone noticed, this Bali trip was the most unforgettable experience that no one would possibly forget

A lot had happened at Bali:
Excitement..

Adventure..

Embarassement..

Annoyance..

Good Times..

etc

Within those categories I picked rafting as the exciting part

Rafting was indeed fun excluding the need to go ups and downs 500 stairs
Could you believe that? 500?

At first, when nothing I could see but stairs instead of river, I told myself, 'Is this worth it?'
The thought had haunted me up in my every step until I finally spotted a river near by
The sound of water flowing was wonderful, it drowned the thought within me
No longer I felt the word, 'tired' and as a substitute I felt my entire body was filled with delight

With no more second to waste, I jumped into the boat which was about to depart
In my boat, there was Howie, Amadeus, Steffie, Me and Patrick
Including the professional in boat of course

The six of us and the six of them which were Oline, Joseph, Alim, Teresa, Alfon, Professional
We competed which one of us could possible had the strenght to be the first

As the journey began, miles had our boat travelled from the starting point
As in my record, my boat was the first
Well, they had once or maybe twice catched us up but we would get that position back easily ^^

In the middle of the journey, we stopped for a coconut drink
Unlike the others, Joseph, Alfon, Steffie and myself were sitting at the cold river

We felt ourselves agaisnt the current and the feelings of rushing water were incredible!
Don't believe me? Try them next time you rode this kind of thing!

(Oline & Me waiting for the others)

(The 2 boats members)

After we had our break, we swapped member. We replaced Pat with Joss.

It was a really good timing for Joseph to go with our boat, he helped us by a lot!

He even saved my life twice!! He was my HERO for the day!!

Here how the story went..

During our journey to the end, our team decided to take a swim

However, the current was extremely strong!

I was almost caught by the current when joseph pulled me, that's one

When everybody was done swimming, everybody were back at the boat except me

I couldn't pull my own weight and I was afraid I couldn't held much longer

Joseph pulled me from the water to the boat, real solid! and that's the two

Now I knew the feeling of dying on Tsunami!!!

I'm telling you, it had crept the hell out of me!

Real scary!

Thanks Jo for saving my butt twice!

After the unpleasant incident occured, we all including the other boat took a swim at the last part of the journey

The water was calm and it was very nice. I wished I could turn back the time.

I missed rafting and everything that had happened in Bali

Hospital

4th May 2009
21:00 at night

Something was haunting my thoughts.
For some inexplicable reasons, my heart kept palpitating with each passing second.

‘Something bad had happened’, a voice inside my head spoke.

I shook the thought off my head and put every ounce of my energy not to think about it.
However, the harder I tried not to think about it, the more I think about it.
It was like that ‘something’ was trying to communicate with me.

I felt it was necessary to get back home and the sooner the better.

As I arrived home, my servants were dashing towards the car.
They were reporting that my sister was grimacing in pain and she was vomiting her stomach out.
She was having a fever or more and she could barely walk.

The news sends shudders down my spine.
Without any more deliberation, my father interrupted her and told them to find my sister.

Panic-stricken was intoxicate by the entire house.
Everyone was searching for my sister like a top-criminal search on progress.
Once she was in the car, the car flew like a magic carpet.

We went to the nearest hospital in our neighborhood.
On the spur of the moment, we were inside the ER explaining the doctor what had happened.

Doctor was questioning us about her activity for the day.
‘What did she eat? When did the nausea feeling start happening?’ on and so on.
I answered his every questions without any hesitant.

Doctor told us to move further as he did not want any interference while he was doing his work.
While waiting for the result to come out, my hands could not stop fidgeting with my hand phone.

After a long check-up, injection was suggested to be taken for any precaution.
The choice was either injections or staying in hospital.
Since my sister did not like to be in hospital, injection should do just fine.

As the doctor began the process,
She told me to stand beside her.
She held my hand tightly and gave a wince as the doctor injected her.

As both of the injections were done, she was enveloped with relief.
Although she was now asleep, her body temperature was still 38.2 degree Celsius.
I hope she would get better soon.

It’s not a good idea to be sick when common test is one more week ahead of you.
This is terrible!

Last Wish

Clock ticked at the exact ten o'clock at night.

'It's time', silently he whispered to himself.

A father placed his book aside and went to check on his only daughter.

Standing in front of her door, he was knocking for permission.
First knocked was ignored and so as second and third.

A father was made bewildered by this situation.
It was not usual of her daughter to take no notice of his arrival.
Slowly he turned her doorknob and opened the door.
When he saw her, shocked filled his entire being.

His eyes were wide opened and his mouth was a definite O.

She was lying unconscious on the floor.
Her face was pale white and she looked really sick.

Father took no further delay to call up an ambulance.
Once he was done doing so, directly he accompanied her.

Her skin was icy cold and her lips was turning paler every seconds.
Tears of hope from his father were dripping on her cheeks.

It awoke her.

She wiped his tears away and struggled for words, for a last wish.
She held up a paper and gave it to him.

Father was trembling to receive her last wish as he won't let it be the last of it.

She held his father's warm hand and commended him under her last breath to promise to fulfill her last wish.

As the words were spread, she passed away.

Her father was crying to take this bitter fact as he didn't know her only daughter had cancer.

He opened the folded paper and this was written:

"Dad, I love you.
By the time you've received this message, I won't be in this world anymore.
I want you to remember that you'll always be here, in my heart. Forever.

Tell my friends I love them so much.
Nothing in this world is as precious as our friendship.
I may be a big disappointment for them, a friend that isn't truly can be called one.
However, I want them to know that whether in the state of alive or not, they will still be important to me. Till the end. My very end.

Although the love I give was different than any other friends of theirs but I was giving them my very one and only heart.
They couldn't really feel them and that sadden me.
I was hoping you could tell them what's I had been keeping for this long.
A goal I wouldn't be possible to reach. Not now and not anymore.

My time has ended here.
Dad, I'm allright.

No good-byes cause I would always stay in your heart, always..."

The story hadn't end.
Although the message was passed,

Will they understand the story behind everything?

Will they understand why is it every person different with another in a special way?
Everyone have their own unique way to express their love.
Can they receive that girl's love?

What do you think?
Do they be able to understand her?

Rain

Why do I like rain?
Rain is the period of my existence when nobody notices that in fact I am crying.

Drip by drip, droplets of rain fall from the sky.
Looking up to the dark gloomy clouds, tears along with rain is streaming unbrokenly down my cheeks.
It washes away the trail of tears leaving me with a fresh look.
After then, nobody would know what’ve happened and nobody would find out.

Rain is really a perfect time to pour your grief out in public.
It’s efficient and feels incredibly great.

Life is a challenge for every human being.

My life has always been ups and downs, bumpy and never smooth.
It’s really frustrating and irritating as well.

Tough as it goes, slowly problems are increasing.

Nobody could understand the confusion grow within me.
It keeps on growing and hasn’t ever ended.
Trials and errors have been made but antidote still is nowhere to be found.

I’m a sick patient waits for a perfect medicine.
I’m damaged!

I really don’t understand myself.
Finding out about myself has given me a mystery of my own.
I don't seem to know myself anymore. I'm surprisingly different.

Recently, I look at my reflection on the mirror and see a whole other person.

She looks just like me but I know she is not me.
It’s terrifying yet confusing situation.
I don’t know who I have become.
Such changes are just too fast for our naked eyes to witness although it all occurs in front of us.

In every sorrow cases I've felt, you'll find me crying in the rain.
Rain will accompany me.
They understand. nobody does.

Magical Moment

Swoosh…

All that I heard was the sound of the waves.
They rolled down swiftly finding its way to meet my feet.
Slowly it had drenched half of my dress.

I closed my eyes feeling the cold breeze swept the hair out of my shoulders.
I felt bit by bit my soul found a place to recover.
All the hatred, lost, hurt everything were vanished, gone without a trace.
It felt like the waves had taken everything away along with them.

The peace sensation had me calmed.
I could finally breath my problems out leaving me with ease.
I truly wanted to make this feeling permanent but my attempt of keeping was continuing to fail.

I sighed whenever the sun went down.
Sunset arrival was initialing me my time was up. It was time to go back home.
I looked around and discovered that I was alone. Everybody had left.

I tried telling myself I could come tomorrow and the day after.
However, for inexplicable reason, my feet rooted itself down to the ground.
Not wanting to leave this place.

I reluctantly commanded my feet and all the willing of staying to obey my orders.
Unfortunately, I was ignored.

Everything I did never changed the fact that I really wanted to be there.
Forever or at least when I could feel this way everyday for the rest of my life.

The crashing waves… The breeze of the wind… The soft sand burying my feet…
Every single one of them had given me a warmth feeling that no one or anything could possibly gave me.

All I want is a peace to my heart, to my life.
That’s all matters to me.
Nothing else is.

Hatred

CIE 'O' Level is driving me crazy..
I'm going nuts each day..

Although every person I met was telling me to chill, unfortunately, I couldn't do so..
I really wanted to prepare for CIE way before time.. (the only way to calm myself)

Having the thought it was getting closer each day, it's making me more nervous..
They always say that I'm overstudying or some may described as 'crazy study'..
The way they called it, it's like I was really doing something wrong..

What I want for myself is just getting high marks for my grades so I can make my parents proud!
Not going school to waste money or time..

Am I wrong to achieve my goals as student?
Why can't they see it from my point of view?
Why must they judge whatever they feel like?
Do they ever realize how does it feels to be in my position?

Looking at their faces..
See how they reacted toward my studies, it really makes me sick..
It feels like they are mocking me..
Sometimes I want to smack their brain out of their head..

Every word they utter.. Every expression they show.. Every gaze at their eyes..
It flares my rage..
It really had me annoyed.. Irritated me to death to be specific..

I don't understand them..
I just wish they can understand me..

I mean.. I'm just a person that has determination in life..
Wanting to be a person with bright future..

Am I wrong?

Friends

Have you ever felt like your life is full speed ahead of you?
Have you ever wish that somehow, you'd be given a longer time to stay with your friends?

For my answer, I’m still expecting a miracle although it's one to a million chances..

Every now and then, everything just run inexplicably fast..
Even none of us are aware that actually we are left with not much time..

Having the thought of them leaving is a suicidal feeling for me..
'good-bye' is what I can think of although Melia will slap me for that..
She really hates it when I remind her we'll be going in our separate ways soon..

I can even imagine how I'd be when they are gone..
There's only one word to describe, 'miserable'

However, when that day is upon me, there's nothing much I can do to change the future..
Their future are settled and so as mine, we're just have to stay put and move on..
Hoping we'll get over it even if it'll take a long time..

Few years pass and we'll get older..

Perhaps..

we'll wallow in memories of long-gone high school days..
Missing our old times..
Having to realize how ridiculous we look when we're young..
Having all those thoughts right now really bring tears to my eyes..

I'm sad to the day awaits me..
I'm afraid to lose my friends..
I'm not comfortable in feeling like I'll soon be left alone.. friendless..

Lots have been changing in my life and I demand no more changes..
I just want everything just be simple and normal..
Why can't it be that simple?

For one thing for sure, I'll miss them..
How about you?

Growing Up

23rd March 2009 (9:00 am)

"I've given one more chance to prove that I’m not the kind of person I used to be. I can CHANGE and I WILL!" the words echoed and echoed in my ears.

I'm a true crybaby..
I cried for almost everything.. Even over the simplest things!
I promise myself it would be the last of it..
Starting now, I'm NO longer a crybaby!

I've learn that real courage was in facing and overcoming
fear and NOT by crying over spill milk..

Time over time purpose of life supposedly to seek pleasure and avoid pain but my life works the other way around..

Everything I've seen in life is a wrong judgment..

All these time, the problem was in ME..
By changing myself, I hope I’ll find a better life or at least to find a better me..

I've been extremely vicious and intimidating for some people..
For my unpleasant attitude I apologize..

From now onward,
I'm a reborn Caroline..
I've discovered my mistakes and I won't make the same mistakes twice..

Today is the start of my new life..
The flip of a new page.. The beginning of everything..
I'm ready to shout to the world saying, ‘I've learn my mistakes! I’ll grow up!'

Nothing can stop me from this attempt of mine..
Everything will change.. I confirm myself..

Smile all the way..

Always start your day with a smile :D [contribution from Joss]

My new motto,

'Smiling Everyday Keeps The
Troubles Away' :P

XOXO

I'll be back for more! ^^

Excruciating Reminder

21st March 2009

Someone came up to me..

As the words began to fill my entire being, my heart couldn't bear another strike..
Perhaps I had myself prepared to face this upsetting fact, but it seemed my heart didn't do much the job..
The only thing could be concluded in this situation was 'truth hurts'..
I couldn't deny it as well as every person who visited my blog..

My heart was then broken into two..
Void filled my heart but hope lingered with me telling me to stay strong..

Heavy-heartedly,
I thanked the person for their honesty although my heart was raining in tears..
With big fake smiles saying, 'I'm fine' while deep inside I’m bleeding..

This situation had us in awkward positions..

As my memory rested at the fact I knew I had it coming,
I questioned myself for being painfully hurt..

'Why would those words burn like an acid in my heart when I know it's coming?'

Phone rang..
Gone once.. twice.. trice..
I didn't answer any of those calls..

My strength was yanked by the terrifying possibility of the future..
I didn't want anything to change..
I wanted everything went back to normal.. I wanted to be strong!
However, I couldn’t do so..
'What is the matter with me?'

I didn't want any apologize..
I just wanted a time-out.. A place for me to pull myself together..
I knew they just wanted to help, to make a better me..
I was sorry for being childish but I couldn't help it myself..
My emotions were out of control, wild like a hunger tiger finally freed from its cage..

As time had cleared my mind,
I discovered only true friends would take such risk to make me realize something I don't..
They are my 'real' friends..

Even if the process was extremely excruciating, it had opened my eyes and changed me..

For their 'slap in the face' reminder..
Not mentioning harsh and hurtful, I want to say, 'Thank You!'..

Peace.. ^^

XOXO
CC = Caroline Cullen
Ha!

Dreadful Day

Today seemed slower than any other day.. it was a very dreadful day!!

'I sensed trouble and MORE trouble i got..'

It appeared out of nowhere..
Suddenly everything just turned out wrong.. Tension was built and situation got awkward..
I really didn't know how to restrain myself for not being mad at 'them'..
However, rage overwhelmed me and controlled me instead..
May some words just came out sharp.. I might somehow hurt 'their' feelings..
I didn't even realize it myself until 'they' expressed 'their' responds..
My anger suddenly vanished upon looking at 'them'..
It seemed like i misunderstood them.. or did I?

Soon, after a while.. when my thoughts were clear.. I was thinking..
'How if this whole thing is my fault?'
Reviewing the situation, i thought again and realized it wasn't my all my FAULTS but 'theirs' too..
'Am i being selfish or am i being FAIR?'
i didn't figure out which was which but i was hoping tomorrow 'we' could forget and forgive..

just like old-times.. i hoped this time will also be next time..

As i wish upon my unsolved problems, there are LOTS of other things for me to worry..
Ms Bella's chem workbook..

it is like a personal hell to me.. I am not talking nonsense but it's true..

Not mentioning the furious Mr G in our class today.. WOW.. It was really creeping me out..
He got so emotional with eyeballs sticking out at us.. Creepy and unpleasant..

Not a single one of us dared to move or even looked at him.. unbelivable..
Sometimes i wondered..
'Will Mr G be this frightening around his GF?'

Talking about exams had stressed me out already..
Ms Bella had given us not ONLY me much headache as she mentioned there was MORE coverage in CIE 'O' LEVEL.. pressure much..!!

Thinking about studies and conflicts had gotten me wore off..
I should enjoy my 'freedom'.. at least taking break from week of exams..
but NO!! geography homework just added up my pressure.. DOUBLE!!

One for chemistry and one for geography.. what more can torture me??

maths?? hmm.. not so much..

What a suicidal attempt! Not for physical but for mental!!

Pressure, pressure, pressure..

i didn't feel like talking anymore..

lots to talk but so little time..
lots to study but so little time..
same concept but different contents..

Anyway, need some slp..
Be back for more..

Later

XOXO
CC is in the house!